If you pray for rain, be prepared to deal with some mud.


How do they know?

I am always amazed at the intuitive nature of children. They always know just when you can’t take another thing in your life somehow. Offering just a little smile or a out of tune song or a hug tight as can be right around your neck.

I had one of those days today…you know the ones that when you look back you know that things could have always been much worse but at the moment you seem to worry too much about the little things and forget about all the small miracles and wonders of everyday life that we should really be more grateful for.

It took the warm heart of my 3 year old nephew to make me open my eyes and remember that I am loved and very blessed. I returned to my bedroom tonight to find this…my normal teddy that resides on my bed, and his favorite toy “Giraff-ie”. When I took his toy out to his dads apartment where he is sleeping for the night I asked him why he left it in my room. He just smiled that sweet innocent smile and responded, “they are best friends and Giraff-ie didn’t want Teddy to be lonely like you without {your boyfriend}. I think you should sleep with him tonight.” I was amazed that he picked up on how much I miss my man. As I left the apartment I felt a little tear down my cheek, my nephew has clung to that little giraffe since his parents split up. I know it was quite a sacrifice to let me sleep with his toy…while I would normally have told him not to worry about it and to keep the stuffed animal for himself I thought that would ruin the whole point of his selfish less sacrifice. I will be proud to admit that I will be sleeping with Teddy and Giraff-ie tonight.

My heart on my sleeve

This is a special post for a very special person….and that person is very aware of who he is. My heart is past the point of returning to a place of ever being able to forget you. The way you have touched my very soul, you seem to have burned your impression on me. I am yours…forever and completely.

I pray to any God that will listen that you will wrap me in your arms each and every night for the rest of my life, holding me as close to your body as we can be. Feeling the warmth of your breath on my naked body, and listening to your heartbeat like it’s the only sound on Earth. Looking in your eyes and seeing the energy that lights your life is me, and letting you see in my eyes the same of you.

Kissing you first thing every morning and the last thing every night, and the many kisses all of the hours in between. I want to taste the sweet, pure honest love that we share for one another on your lips, and feel you caress my body like I am the most beautiful woman you have ever known.

I want to see your chest swell with pride each time you introduce me to someone, knowing that you really are proud to call me you own. And I want to enjoy the looks of jealousy I will receive from the many women that missed their chance at the most wonderful man alive.  

I want to make you smile each and every day.  I want to dance in the rain with you, cry in your arms when the world is too much, and watch the sunrise wrapped in only your love and a blanket. I want to count the stars till we fall asleep on the lawn, sit by the fire on a stormy winter day. I want to listen to the frogs, and to see the baby farm animals together. I want to kiss the tip of your nose or your forehead when you’re ill.  I want to comfort your after a hard day. I want to listen to the birds together and have you show me the ones you know and love. I want to work in the yard and garden with you and get dirty and sweaty and then sneak in and have a cool shower together. I want to feel you come up behind me while I am busy and brush my hair from the back of my neck and have you kiss it tenderly, turning my body slowly to yours and know that this is only the beginning. I want to watch you sleep and most of all to be amazed every day at you!

I want to see the look in your eyes when I tell you that I am pregnant with our child. I want you to hold my pregnant stomach and enjoy the pleasure of feeling the baby kick and move within me. I want my body to make you swell with love.

I want to share my whole world with you for the rest of this life and any life beyond. Every emotion, every frustration or doubt, every joy and fervor, I want the first time our eyes meet to be just as  passionate as they will be in a hundred years. I want to feel that fixation of love we share till the stars all fall from the sky. But most of all I want you to know…I love you. I can’t stop and won’t ever stop being madly in love with you.

A whole new cowgal…

I was so excited with myself yesterday that I thought I would do a bit of bragging today.


I finished my first official 5k race…not in any record time, but I finished. That was my goal. But I think my friends have set me on some strange path. While on the car ride home, while we were all still stinky with sweat and starting to feel the longing from our beds (we got up for the race about 5 am) we started to make plans for our next race…and I set a goal to cut down my time. We’ll see about that…but I think I have found something to really shoot for.

Roll with us…


Bless this gal’s heart, she has brought me back around to the wordpress world!  Moe with all her confidence in me, has allowed me to add my little bit to one of her entertaining rolling stories. She started it off and them passed the story over to Blondie, and then Widdle Shamrock,  and then to Mistress B, and then on to Cris, and then to Anja, and then to Annie and that is where Evyl picked it up and dropped it off on my door step! And let me tell you…I was a little nervous becasue this time I didn’t read the story till it got to me. I don’t reccomend this to anyone if we do this all again…it took to long to jump in and I appoligize, I just hope you like my addition before I leave it for Burnie. Have fun, and enjoy the ride!


He stepped from the plane into the crowded airport, the face of who he was seeking, fixed firmly in his mind. He had seen it numerous times, but knew, even if it had been revealed only once, it was a face he would never forget. How could he ever forget the face of the person responsible for the single most painful experience of his life? The devastation it had created was an event he would not allow himself to forget. He was driven to not only find her, but make her suffer the way he had. Ensure she experienced the total overwhelming feeling that had been his constant companion for more than 10 years. The hopelessness, anguish and feeling of loss, all of which kept him awake, or haunted his dreams, turning every night into a tortuous time to be dreaded, in every waking moment……. Constance sat in the study looking out over the garden. She loved to be in this room. It was just how she had imagined she would have her own room just for her writing, all those years ago. The garden was showing the first signs of spring approaching. There were new buds on all the plants and the winter chill had gone from the air today, so she had happily let Alison play outside. She was distracted from her writing while watching Alison play in the garden. The child had a wonderful imagination and Constance loved to watch her play. As the sun glistened on Alison’s hair and she poured tea for the teddy bears, Constance wondered how their lives would have turned out if she had made a different decision on that fateful day. For the first time in many years, she let her mind wonder to Alison’s father. Constance had not let herself think about him since that day. As she was thinking about him, she felt a shiver go up her spine and felt a sense of dread that she hadn’t experienced in a long time… Dermot ran his hand through his hair. He was still a ‘looker’ and he knew it. He felt the glances from women as he walked through the airport to the taxi stand. “Mmm, Nice eye candy.” he heard a woman mutter quietly to her friend. He smiled to himself. Nice eye candy indeed. Standing at almost 6ft tall, Dermot had thick, black, wavy hair with tinges of grey. While he was no body builder, he kept himself in good shape. It was his eyes that women loved the most though, his deep, sea blue eyes. Many a woman had gazed into those eyes and fallen prey to his charms. Many a woman had known what it was like to be loved and tossed aside like a broken toy when he had had enough. Dermot hadn’t always been like that, a cruel, hard hearted bastard. There was a time when he loved freely and unashamedly, trusted implicitly. That was before Con…. Dermot shook his head. There was no time for that. He hailed a cab, and when it pulled up, threw his overnight bag in the back and got in. “Where to?” the cab driver asked. Dermot paused. What now? He had waited for this for 10 years, plotted, planned, changed his mind over and over, never letting the flame of revenge die in his heart. He was here now. It was time. Yes, where to? He directed the driver to his hotel resisting the impulse to rush the confrontation that he knew was to come, remembering the events that led up to that fateful night that changed all their lives forever. His mind drifted back in time as he remembered her despair that her husband was slowly drinking himself to death, her grief for the marriage and life that she would never now have. He remembered pulling her close initially to try to calm her weeping but later, oh later………. of holding her closer, much closer than a brother in law should as they sought to affirm the life that they both should have been living . He remembered the gentleness of her fingers as they explored his muscles, the softness of her silky smooth skin, how she shivered when he kissed her neck, how her body arched beneath his as they took what each needed from the other. It was the most incredible night he had ever known, he’d never found that kind of satisfaction with another woman since. She’d ruined him for anyone else and he’d never trusted another women again after what she did. Falling in love with his brother’s wife was bad enough and he had hated himself for it but for her to tell James while he was still so vulnerable…….. The bitch killed him! She shouldn’t have told him, she should have stayed silent and forgotten about that night, that one night that they had turned to each other for comfort after taking James to rehab. If only she hadn’t told him he would never have been drunk at the wheel that night and had a chance of maintaining control of the car on the snow covered mountain road. She killed James and then she vanished! He’d been looking for her this whole time. It was time someone held her accountable Constance sat with a vague sense of unease, watching her daughter. She was struck by the need to go out and grab that beautiful child and run. She could not put her finger on the reason, but the fear began to grow in her. She hadn’t felt this in years. ‘Not since…..No, I will not let my mind go there…it was long ago and I am past it now,’ she thought. But her mind continued to wander, down, deeper into her memories. All she could remember was the heart shattering loss, feeling like she was spiraling deep into nothingness, emptiness and like her heart had been cut from her. The sound of the telephone cut through the silence like a chain saw, but Constance was locked deep in her mind, and could not reach out for the phone. At the same time Allison heard the phone ringing from outside and came running into the house. Mommy had just started allowing her to answer the phone on occasion, and if it was still ringing …….she ran to the phone, stopping short when she saw her mom sitting there. “Mommy, Mommy are you ok?” shouted Allison. The crystal glass shattered against the terrazzo tiles, shocking Constance back into reality. He was behind Allison, close enough to touch her. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes that made her drown in a pool of lust and passion were staring at her daughter. His long fingers were about to touch her hair. Constance was chained to her chair in fright. She knew why he was here. He was here to take away the one thing that was good and beautiful in the world – he was here for Allison. Her mind was in turmoil, her thoughts a myriad of confusion. How could she love a man that had vowed to make her suffer? How could she still feel that warm rush of ecstasy at the thought of him touching her, when she knew he was on a mission to destroy her. He smiled at Allison; that familiar smile he would deliver to her all those years ago. Constance died inside when she heard his voice. The pain cut through her heart when she heard him say, “Hello, Allison. I have waited a long time to see you. I am your father” Allison’s large green eyes regarded the tall stranger with distrust. “What’s your name?” she asked. “Dermott McDawg,” he replied, a smile so oily it could have dressed salad. “Kermit the Frog?” Allison smirked. “Mummy, what is he doing here? I have a twitter date and I’m going to be late. You told me I never had to meet him. You told me he eats small children for lunch.” Constance gasped and looked truly surprised and shrugged at Dermott. “I really didn’t…Allison, this is your…” “Oh knock it off, Mummy – we both know this is the bastard that slept with you and caused me to kill myself on that lonely mountain road.” Allison leveled a rather scary gaze at Dermott. “If it weren’t for you I would still be a virile man sleeping with my hot wife and making babies of our own, instead of having to come back as your love child conducting fake tea parties on the lawn with teddy bears.” Dermot was speechless, all his plans of vengence fading quickly and being replaced with a sense of fear. “Well, ah, Allison dear…” “Don’t you dear, me, you rat-bastard waste of space wanker!” Allison stamped her foot and pulled a can of pepper spray from her pretty pink pinafore. Psst. “Take that you lowlife, treacherous wife fucker!” “My eyes! My eyes!” Dermott cried rubbing them with his fists. He could not see a thing but he felt a sudden chill of fear race his spine when…. He realized that all the years of seeking divine retribution was suddenly regurgitated on his lap. He was the one that caused his brother’s death. He was the one that by one night of pure unadulterated lust pushed his drunken bum of a brother over the edge. And that is when he realized the truth. His brother, James, was a fucking douchebag. What gave him the right to come back as the child of his night of passion. As he thought about Constance breast feeding this evil spawn from hell, rage filled his soul. Those perfect breasts should have been mine for the suckling. Even though he could not see the fiend that had sprayed him, he could hear her breathing and he could smell her rancid tea breath. Dermot jumped and grabbed the demon spawn by the throat. Then he heard the distinctive sound of a shell being pumped into a twelve gauge shotgun. He knew that Constance would shoot. But who? The man that she loved and had been robbed of by her drunken bum of a husband or the demon spawn that had stolen the life that belonged to her child?

Dermot knew that he had no chance of changing anbody’s mind with tricks or lies in the next few crutial moments. Honesty would be the only way out of this predicament. Blindly he opened his arm to where he presumed that Constance was. With all the pent up anger and frustration comming to the surface, as well as the pepper spray in his eyes, he started to cry. “Baby,” he started towards her, “if I can’t be with you, well then I would rather die. Living without you after that beautiful night we shared, I can hold no other woman and not long for your body.” he patentily waited for some type of sign, but when nothing presented itself  he saw no danger in continuing recalling for his brother all the expliced details of that night of passion.

Constance was torn, for the fear she had dealt with for 10 years of Dermot finding them was still real. She had run for so long, and she was tired of running, and she was tired of never being able to love another man the way she had him. Not to mention she could never bring a man around Alison, they all reacted to her the same way…

A Big ol’ Happy Birthday to me!

The old man was so kind as to let me plan my own birthday this year, and to celebrate I was accompanied by a handful of friends with me to Las Vegas to see Thunder from Down Under!1000
We had quite a good time, but I was so happy to return home to my man. After all…I get to keep him all to myself!


California…and home again.

Oh, I love to be on vacation and boy howdy do I wish I could go back!

We got home from our little excursion to Plymouth, CA  on Tuesday. Before I tell ya what we came home to I’ll show ya just how much fun we had.

leaving Lake Point

leaving Lake Point

As we traveled across I-80 I had to snap a photo of the desert and my mountains…Just in case I got a little home sick

Salt Flats

Salt Flats


We stayed the night in Reno/Sparks, NV at a little truck stop and casino, and I had the worst night of sleep possible. You can’t believe all the noise at a truck stop in the middle of the night. The next morning, in a mad rush to beat the weather we headed over Donner’s to California, this is the weather we were trying so hard to avoid, seeings that no one had tire chains that were mandatory…oops

I thought California would be a little warmer than this

I thought California would be a little warmer than this


Lucky for us, we snuck threw and made it ok to Sacramento. A

As we made our way to a fellow truck club members shop, we saw that crazy little car in the post just below this one…who knew!

We had a great lunch and spent a little time in town, browsing and seeing the sights.

The big guy...at Redi-gro, seeing all the trucks.

The big guy...at Redi-gro, seeing all the trucks.


Then we made our way to Plymouth, CA. It was such a beautiful drive…

Green grass and rolling hills.

Green grass and rolling hills.

We hit the truck show and that is where I left the big guy with all his friends, I don’t think he even missed me he had so much bull shitting to do.

overview of the Kirkland Ranch & Truck Show.

overview of the Kirkland Ranch & Truck Show.

I had to escape and check out the wine tasting…

this one was the most fun...

this one was the most fun...

We spent all day Saturday driving around county visiting about 20 different tasting rooms at the vineyards. Good thing that I took a few photos, because by the end of the day, I really wouldn’t have  remembered how beautiful it was.



And do you know how sad I was to hear that I can’t bring wine back across the state line? umm…legally. ;)

We had to set out and leave on Sunday, but we took I-50 back around to Nevada and took in some great views around Lake Tahoe. I wish I could have had a little more time to take photos there, but we did get a great shot at the summit with most of the gang.

the gang

the gang


And that is about where all the fun ended, at least as far as the photos go.

When we got home and started to unpack, we thought that the house smelt a little funny…I thought it was just stuffy and opened some windows. But when I went to the basement to start a load of laundry we realized that while we had been out, we had got flooded.

The sewer had backed up and came in threw a floor drain and got shit water everywhere in the basement.

The big guy has had to take 2 more days off of work to get things cleaned and get new carpet ordered etc. I have yet to start any type of laundry and we are wore out! I can’t believe the damage that standing water can do. All of my scrapbooks & genealogy and my craft room got the worst of it. The TV room, luckily, only needs the carpet replaced. But it’s quite a lot of work. I’m just so glad that it was nothing worse.

Let’s be friends – award

What is a gal to say when she receives an award like this… letsbefriends

These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this written text into the body of their award.

My dear sweet Java Queen sent this over my direction and I was pleased as punch to receive it. But I’ll be quite honest…I have no idea what self-aggrandizement even means. But knowing Java…it has to be good.

I was excited to see that I get to pass this on to 8 more bloggers, but I thought that I should find out what that big ol’ word meant…so I googled it and this is what I came up with,

self·-aggrandizement (-ə grandiz mənt)


the act of making oneself more powerful, wealthy, etc., esp. in a ruthless way
Now wait just a minuet…I am always on the edge of ruthlessness…it’s the evil laugh. Tee-hee-hee-ha-ha-ha!
So enough of that, on with my picks…
Zoe – this little gal is the height of not interested in self-aggrandizement.
Kemi – a friend indeed.
Meg – Welcoming you in no matter how strange of comments you leave her.
James – he fits the exceedingly charming!
Libby – Just read her bucket list to know why I include this gal.
Sunnymom – A new friend that I’m excited to be getting to know more about.
Lucky – quite a friend to all that visit her, even if she has been a slacker as of late.
Trisha – another great friend!
So to all my friends, and this is not all of you, their are many more than I have listed here…thanks for having me at your place! I enjoy your friendship via the web!


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