For the most part, I have quite a good memory for things that are completely irrelevant. Like for example I remember patients names at the doctors office that I work at. That wouldn’t be such a problem except for the fact that we have 40,000 active patients. It’s not that I remember them all…just the ones that have done something to jog my memory somehow.
Stupid people have precedence with name recognition for me, and the same goes for cute old people that remind me of my grandmother.
But today I have to say that received a winner into the name recognitiondata base that is my brain. Now for the safety of all involved, the names in this story have been changed to protect the, well innocent.
Me: Thanks for calling, this is Cowgal
Norma: Hi, this is Norma…is Dr. Rose in the office today?
Me: Yes. But I’m sorry, Dr. Rose is out to lunch. Can I leave a message for him?
Norma: Yes please. Can you ask him to call me back. I have cold and every time I cough I wet myself.
Me: (trying to stay professional) OK, and how would you like the doctor to help?
Norma: I need him to write me a note to stay home from work, I can’t keep changing my clothing every time I have an accident.
Me: Have you tried using a pad?
Norma: A what?
Me: An incontinence pad or a diaper? Like a depends?
Norma: What would I need that for?
Me: For your wetting problem?
Norma: Well I don’t have a problem. I just can’t hold my bladder when I cough.
Me: (snickering and wetting myself) OK. I’ll just leave him a message then.
Norma: See that you do, I can’t go on like this.
Now I just can’t wait for this patient to come in again to put a face to the stupidity.
The best part is when the doctor got a hold of the patient, he told her to get some depends.