Bran Muffins

I got this as a cute e-mail from a friend…thought you would enjoy it! I did.


The  couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though  they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched  their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good  health, largely due to the
wife’s insistence on healthy foods and  exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn’t  help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending  them off to Heaven.  
 They  reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took 
them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a  fully
stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could  be seen
hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped  in astonishment when he said, ‘Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home  now.’ 

The  old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 

‘Why,  nothing,’ Peter replied, ‘remember, this is your reward in  Heaven.’

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw  a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built  on Earth.
‘What  are the greens fees?’ grumbled the old man.

‘This is heaven ,’  St. Peter replied. ‘You can play for free, every day.’ 

Next  they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every  imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to  exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

‘Don’t even ask,’ said  St. Peter to the man, ‘this is Heaven, it is all free
for you to  enjoy.’

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his  wife.

‘Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and  the
decaffeinated tea?,’ he asked. 

‘That’s the best part,’ St. Peter  replied, ‘you can eat and drink as much as
you like of whatever you  like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is
The  old man pushed, ‘No gym to work out at?’ 

‘Not unless you want to,’ was  the answer. 

‘No  testing my sugar or blood pressure or…’ 

‘Never again. All you do here is  enjoy yourself.’  
The  old man glared at his wife and said, ‘You and your darn bran muffins. We could have been  here ten years  ago!’


2 thoughts on “Bran Muffins

  1. LOL! Pretty funny but, really — I’ll still eat those bran muffins cause I ain’t planning to go any where any time soon! 🙂

  2. I’ve read that one before, but it’s still hilarious! Most people my age(42)and older seem to have trouble with constipation, and have to eat alot of bran. I’ve got the opposite problem, however, and must avoid bran entirely–otherwise I’d end up in Heaven way too soon!

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