A Redneck I May Be…

Redneck jokes from time to time hit a little close to home for me…not that theses are any example but here are a few I can actually laugh at (ya know, some still make me cry!)

Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

Your father executes the “pull my finger” trick during Christmas dinner.

The people on Jerry Springer’s show remind you of your neighbors.

You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it’s wheels.

Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.

So you think I’m just kidding? How many people do you know that have dinner with the animal they are having for dinner…

home-junk-003.jpg

Yep…that is my husbands mule deer looking over the dinner table in the middle of the kitchen. He put it there so all the neighbors can see it when they stop by. I’ve been told that there is a little redneck in us all…you be the judge.

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5 thoughts on “A Redneck I May Be…

  1. Um, I have two in my living room. I also have a huge picture of my husband and his best friends duck hunting. It’s a cool picture, but VERY redneck.
    They don’t call me “The Redneck Romance Writer” for nothing.

    Good company then…I can’t wait for my antelope to come back from the taxidermy shop next month.

  2. I resemble more than a couple of those. Although gravy, barbeque, and beer have to be added to the food groups and my neighbors don’t resemble a Jerry Springer show, my family get togethers do. BTW, it’s great that you are loosening up a little bit and flashing your rack.

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