Can anyone explain to me why the big man upstairs sees fit to let people who have no desire to have children get pregnant? I just don’t understand.
The old’ man and myself have been doing the fertility thing for 5 years and we just don’t have the drive (scheduled sex is not always a turn on) let alone the funds to continue.
We have looked in to adoption and really don’t have a clue where to start.
The first place I called was very nice but the first question she asked me was if we were interested in “white only” adoptions. When I told her that we really hadn’t made any type of choice along that line she gave me another place to call, she didn’t want to waste her time with me if I didn’t even know the answer to that question and she only deals with “black” children.
After staring at the phone astonished, I tried the second number. It was a larger organization, that much I could tell by the welcome message and hold music to reach an operator. When the friendly voice came over the phone I once again awkwardly asked a few questions and was flabbergasted with the information I was given. I found out that I’m not the only person in the world trapped in the “You’ve been married how long and don’t have any children?” situation. Of course from the infertility clinic I had been going to I knew this, but I was floored by the price she gave me. This agency specializes in Caucasian adoptions, and we would be put on a waiting list for birth mothers to choose from. Which means that we could be 6 months to never before a birth mother to ever finds us. After the process starts we could expect the fees to be anywhere from $5000 to $40,000, depending on all the factors. But this wouldn’t include anything like travel to get the baby or if the mother is in a young mother facility and she wants the adoptive family to pay her expenses. But she told me not to worry because I didn’t have to enter a contract until I had a better estimate on the cost, per potential child of course.
At this point I hung up the phone and cried until the old man came home. We had been so lucky with our infertility; our medical insurance had covered 80% after deductibles. That is the only way we could do it. Then the old man remembered that his company offered an adoption fund, they would help us out.
So I called the number given to us from the personal department in hopes of the best. I sheepishly asked all the questions and was shocked to find that they could help offset the fees by 80%. I nearly fell off my chair. I was delighted. Then she continued that the benefits covered the cost up to $4000. Once again my heart sank. I finished up the call and told her that I would get back to her once we had more information. I’ve never said another word to the old man about it again.
I just don’t know that if a birth mother approached me and we found the costs to exceed our limits that I wouldn’t have a mental breakdown. Resources in Utah seem to be small, unless you can want to go through the Mormon Church. I did call once and get a package in the mail from the Dave Thomas Foundation (Wendy’s) but I just cried and put it in a stack of magazines to file threw later.