If you pray for rain, be prepared to deal with some mud.

friends

How do they know?

I am always amazed at the intuitive nature of children. They always know just when you can’t take another thing in your life somehow. Offering just a little smile or a out of tune song or a hug tight as can be right around your neck.

I had one of those days today…you know the ones that when you look back you know that things could have always been much worse but at the moment you seem to worry too much about the little things and forget about all the small miracles and wonders of everyday life that we should really be more grateful for.

It took the warm heart of my 3 year old nephew to make me open my eyes and remember that I am loved and very blessed. I returned to my bedroom tonight to find this…my normal teddy that resides on my bed, and his favorite toy “Giraff-ie”. When I took his toy out to his dads apartment where he is sleeping for the night I asked him why he left it in my room. He just smiled that sweet innocent smile and responded, “they are best friends and Giraff-ie didn’t want Teddy to be lonely like you without {your boyfriend}. I think you should sleep with him tonight.” I was amazed that he picked up on how much I miss my man. As I left the apartment I felt a little tear down my cheek, my nephew has clung to that little giraffe since his parents split up. I know it was quite a sacrifice to let me sleep with his toy…while I would normally have told him not to worry about it and to keep the stuffed animal for himself I thought that would ruin the whole point of his selfish less sacrifice. I will be proud to admit that I will be sleeping with Teddy and Giraff-ie tonight.


My heart on my sleeve

This is a special post for a very special person….and that person is very aware of who he is. My heart is past the point of returning to a place of ever being able to forget you. The way you have touched my very soul, you seem to have burned your impression on me. I am yours…forever and completely.

I pray to any God that will listen that you will wrap me in your arms each and every night for the rest of my life, holding me as close to your body as we can be. Feeling the warmth of your breath on my naked body, and listening to your heartbeat like it’s the only sound on Earth. Looking in your eyes and seeing the energy that lights your life is me, and letting you see in my eyes the same of you.

Kissing you first thing every morning and the last thing every night, and the many kisses all of the hours in between. I want to taste the sweet, pure honest love that we share for one another on your lips, and feel you caress my body like I am the most beautiful woman you have ever known.

I want to see your chest swell with pride each time you introduce me to someone, knowing that you really are proud to call me you own. And I want to enjoy the looks of jealousy I will receive from the many women that missed their chance at the most wonderful man alive.  

I want to make you smile each and every day.  I want to dance in the rain with you, cry in your arms when the world is too much, and watch the sunrise wrapped in only your love and a blanket. I want to count the stars till we fall asleep on the lawn, sit by the fire on a stormy winter day. I want to listen to the frogs, and to see the baby farm animals together. I want to kiss the tip of your nose or your forehead when you’re ill.  I want to comfort your after a hard day. I want to listen to the birds together and have you show me the ones you know and love. I want to work in the yard and garden with you and get dirty and sweaty and then sneak in and have a cool shower together. I want to feel you come up behind me while I am busy and brush my hair from the back of my neck and have you kiss it tenderly, turning my body slowly to yours and know that this is only the beginning. I want to watch you sleep and most of all to be amazed every day at you!

I want to see the look in your eyes when I tell you that I am pregnant with our child. I want you to hold my pregnant stomach and enjoy the pleasure of feeling the baby kick and move within me. I want my body to make you swell with love.

I want to share my whole world with you for the rest of this life and any life beyond. Every emotion, every frustration or doubt, every joy and fervor, I want the first time our eyes meet to be just as  passionate as they will be in a hundred years. I want to feel that fixation of love we share till the stars all fall from the sky. But most of all I want you to know…I love you. I can’t stop and won’t ever stop being madly in love with you.


A whole new cowgal…

I was so excited with myself yesterday that I thought I would do a bit of bragging today.

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I finished my first official 5k race…not in any record time, but I finished. That was my goal. But I think my friends have set me on some strange path. While on the car ride home, while we were all still stinky with sweat and starting to feel the longing from our beds (we got up for the race about 5 am) we started to make plans for our next race…and I set a goal to cut down my time. We’ll see about that…but I think I have found something to really shoot for.


Roll with us…

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Bless this gal’s heart, she has brought me back around to the wordpress world!  Moe with all her confidence in me, has allowed me to add my little bit to one of her entertaining rolling stories. She started it off and them passed the story over to Blondie, and then Widdle Shamrock,  and then to Mistress B, and then on to Cris, and then to Anja, and then to Annie and that is where Evyl picked it up and dropped it off on my door step! And let me tell you…I was a little nervous becasue this time I didn’t read the story till it got to me. I don’t reccomend this to anyone if we do this all again…it took to long to jump in and I appoligize, I just hope you like my addition before I leave it for Burnie. Have fun, and enjoy the ride!

 

He stepped from the plane into the crowded airport, the face of who he was seeking, fixed firmly in his mind. He had seen it numerous times, but knew, even if it had been revealed only once, it was a face he would never forget. How could he ever forget the face of the person responsible for the single most painful experience of his life? The devastation it had created was an event he would not allow himself to forget. He was driven to not only find her, but make her suffer the way he had. Ensure she experienced the total overwhelming feeling that had been his constant companion for more than 10 years. The hopelessness, anguish and feeling of loss, all of which kept him awake, or haunted his dreams, turning every night into a tortuous time to be dreaded, in every waking moment……. Constance sat in the study looking out over the garden. She loved to be in this room. It was just how she had imagined she would have her own room just for her writing, all those years ago. The garden was showing the first signs of spring approaching. There were new buds on all the plants and the winter chill had gone from the air today, so she had happily let Alison play outside. She was distracted from her writing while watching Alison play in the garden. The child had a wonderful imagination and Constance loved to watch her play. As the sun glistened on Alison’s hair and she poured tea for the teddy bears, Constance wondered how their lives would have turned out if she had made a different decision on that fateful day. For the first time in many years, she let her mind wonder to Alison’s father. Constance had not let herself think about him since that day. As she was thinking about him, she felt a shiver go up her spine and felt a sense of dread that she hadn’t experienced in a long time… Dermot ran his hand through his hair. He was still a ‘looker’ and he knew it. He felt the glances from women as he walked through the airport to the taxi stand. “Mmm, Nice eye candy.” he heard a woman mutter quietly to her friend. He smiled to himself. Nice eye candy indeed. Standing at almost 6ft tall, Dermot had thick, black, wavy hair with tinges of grey. While he was no body builder, he kept himself in good shape. It was his eyes that women loved the most though, his deep, sea blue eyes. Many a woman had gazed into those eyes and fallen prey to his charms. Many a woman had known what it was like to be loved and tossed aside like a broken toy when he had had enough. Dermot hadn’t always been like that, a cruel, hard hearted bastard. There was a time when he loved freely and unashamedly, trusted implicitly. That was before Con…. Dermot shook his head. There was no time for that. He hailed a cab, and when it pulled up, threw his overnight bag in the back and got in. “Where to?” the cab driver asked. Dermot paused. What now? He had waited for this for 10 years, plotted, planned, changed his mind over and over, never letting the flame of revenge die in his heart. He was here now. It was time. Yes, where to? He directed the driver to his hotel resisting the impulse to rush the confrontation that he knew was to come, remembering the events that led up to that fateful night that changed all their lives forever. His mind drifted back in time as he remembered her despair that her husband was slowly drinking himself to death, her grief for the marriage and life that she would never now have. He remembered pulling her close initially to try to calm her weeping but later, oh later………. of holding her closer, much closer than a brother in law should as they sought to affirm the life that they both should have been living . He remembered the gentleness of her fingers as they explored his muscles, the softness of her silky smooth skin, how she shivered when he kissed her neck, how her body arched beneath his as they took what each needed from the other. It was the most incredible night he had ever known, he’d never found that kind of satisfaction with another woman since. She’d ruined him for anyone else and he’d never trusted another women again after what she did. Falling in love with his brother’s wife was bad enough and he had hated himself for it but for her to tell James while he was still so vulnerable…….. The bitch killed him! She shouldn’t have told him, she should have stayed silent and forgotten about that night, that one night that they had turned to each other for comfort after taking James to rehab. If only she hadn’t told him he would never have been drunk at the wheel that night and had a chance of maintaining control of the car on the snow covered mountain road. She killed James and then she vanished! He’d been looking for her this whole time. It was time someone held her accountable Constance sat with a vague sense of unease, watching her daughter. She was struck by the need to go out and grab that beautiful child and run. She could not put her finger on the reason, but the fear began to grow in her. She hadn’t felt this in years. ‘Not since…..No, I will not let my mind go there…it was long ago and I am past it now,’ she thought. But her mind continued to wander, down, deeper into her memories. All she could remember was the heart shattering loss, feeling like she was spiraling deep into nothingness, emptiness and like her heart had been cut from her. The sound of the telephone cut through the silence like a chain saw, but Constance was locked deep in her mind, and could not reach out for the phone. At the same time Allison heard the phone ringing from outside and came running into the house. Mommy had just started allowing her to answer the phone on occasion, and if it was still ringing …….she ran to the phone, stopping short when she saw her mom sitting there. “Mommy, Mommy are you ok?” shouted Allison. The crystal glass shattered against the terrazzo tiles, shocking Constance back into reality. He was behind Allison, close enough to touch her. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes that made her drown in a pool of lust and passion were staring at her daughter. His long fingers were about to touch her hair. Constance was chained to her chair in fright. She knew why he was here. He was here to take away the one thing that was good and beautiful in the world – he was here for Allison. Her mind was in turmoil, her thoughts a myriad of confusion. How could she love a man that had vowed to make her suffer? How could she still feel that warm rush of ecstasy at the thought of him touching her, when she knew he was on a mission to destroy her. He smiled at Allison; that familiar smile he would deliver to her all those years ago. Constance died inside when she heard his voice. The pain cut through her heart when she heard him say, “Hello, Allison. I have waited a long time to see you. I am your father” Allison’s large green eyes regarded the tall stranger with distrust. “What’s your name?” she asked. “Dermott McDawg,” he replied, a smile so oily it could have dressed salad. “Kermit the Frog?” Allison smirked. “Mummy, what is he doing here? I have a twitter date and I’m going to be late. You told me I never had to meet him. You told me he eats small children for lunch.” Constance gasped and looked truly surprised and shrugged at Dermott. “I really didn’t…Allison, this is your…” “Oh knock it off, Mummy – we both know this is the bastard that slept with you and caused me to kill myself on that lonely mountain road.” Allison leveled a rather scary gaze at Dermott. “If it weren’t for you I would still be a virile man sleeping with my hot wife and making babies of our own, instead of having to come back as your love child conducting fake tea parties on the lawn with teddy bears.” Dermot was speechless, all his plans of vengence fading quickly and being replaced with a sense of fear. “Well, ah, Allison dear…” “Don’t you dear, me, you rat-bastard waste of space wanker!” Allison stamped her foot and pulled a can of pepper spray from her pretty pink pinafore. Psst. “Take that you lowlife, treacherous wife fucker!” “My eyes! My eyes!” Dermott cried rubbing them with his fists. He could not see a thing but he felt a sudden chill of fear race his spine when…. He realized that all the years of seeking divine retribution was suddenly regurgitated on his lap. He was the one that caused his brother’s death. He was the one that by one night of pure unadulterated lust pushed his drunken bum of a brother over the edge. And that is when he realized the truth. His brother, James, was a fucking douchebag. What gave him the right to come back as the child of his night of passion. As he thought about Constance breast feeding this evil spawn from hell, rage filled his soul. Those perfect breasts should have been mine for the suckling. Even though he could not see the fiend that had sprayed him, he could hear her breathing and he could smell her rancid tea breath. Dermot jumped and grabbed the demon spawn by the throat. Then he heard the distinctive sound of a shell being pumped into a twelve gauge shotgun. He knew that Constance would shoot. But who? The man that she loved and had been robbed of by her drunken bum of a husband or the demon spawn that had stolen the life that belonged to her child?

Dermot knew that he had no chance of changing anbody’s mind with tricks or lies in the next few crutial moments. Honesty would be the only way out of this predicament. Blindly he opened his arm to where he presumed that Constance was. With all the pent up anger and frustration comming to the surface, as well as the pepper spray in his eyes, he started to cry. “Baby,” he started towards her, “if I can’t be with you, well then I would rather die. Living without you after that beautiful night we shared, I can hold no other woman and not long for your body.” he patentily waited for some type of sign, but when nothing presented itself  he saw no danger in continuing recalling for his brother all the expliced details of that night of passion.

Constance was torn, for the fear she had dealt with for 10 years of Dermot finding them was still real. She had run for so long, and she was tired of running, and she was tired of never being able to love another man the way she had him. Not to mention she could never bring a man around Alison, they all reacted to her the same way…


A Big ol’ Happy Birthday to me!

The old man was so kind as to let me plan my own birthday this year, and to celebrate I was accompanied by a handful of friends with me to Las Vegas to see Thunder from Down Under!1000
We had quite a good time, but I was so happy to return home to my man. After all…I get to keep him all to myself!

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California…and home again.

Oh, I love to be on vacation and boy howdy do I wish I could go back!

We got home from our little excursion to Plymouth, CA  on Tuesday. Before I tell ya what we came home to I’ll show ya just how much fun we had.

leaving Lake Point

leaving Lake Point

As we traveled across I-80 I had to snap a photo of the desert and my mountains…Just in case I got a little home sick

Salt Flats

Salt Flats

 

We stayed the night in Reno/Sparks, NV at a little truck stop and casino, and I had the worst night of sleep possible. You can’t believe all the noise at a truck stop in the middle of the night. The next morning, in a mad rush to beat the weather we headed over Donner’s to California, this is the weather we were trying so hard to avoid, seeings that no one had tire chains that were mandatory…oops

I thought California would be a little warmer than this

I thought California would be a little warmer than this

 

Lucky for us, we snuck threw and made it ok to Sacramento. A

As we made our way to a fellow truck club members shop, we saw that crazy little car in the post just below this one…who knew!

We had a great lunch and spent a little time in town, browsing and seeing the sights.

The big guy...at Redi-gro, seeing all the trucks.

The big guy...at Redi-gro, seeing all the trucks.

 

Then we made our way to Plymouth, CA. It was such a beautiful drive…

Green grass and rolling hills.

Green grass and rolling hills.

We hit the truck show and that is where I left the big guy with all his friends, I don’t think he even missed me he had so much bull shitting to do.

overview of the Kirkland Ranch & Truck Show.

overview of the Kirkland Ranch & Truck Show.

I had to escape and check out the wine tasting…

this one was the most fun...

this one was the most fun...

We spent all day Saturday driving around county visiting about 20 different tasting rooms at the vineyards. Good thing that I took a few photos, because by the end of the day, I really wouldn’t have  remembered how beautiful it was.

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And do you know how sad I was to hear that I can’t bring wine back across the state line? umm…legally. ;)

We had to set out and leave on Sunday, but we took I-50 back around to Nevada and took in some great views around Lake Tahoe. I wish I could have had a little more time to take photos there, but we did get a great shot at the summit with most of the gang.

the gang

the gang

 

And that is about where all the fun ended, at least as far as the photos go.

When we got home and started to unpack, we thought that the house smelt a little funny…I thought it was just stuffy and opened some windows. But when I went to the basement to start a load of laundry we realized that while we had been out, we had got flooded.

The sewer had backed up and came in threw a floor drain and got shit water everywhere in the basement.

The big guy has had to take 2 more days off of work to get things cleaned and get new carpet ordered etc. I have yet to start any type of laundry and we are wore out! I can’t believe the damage that standing water can do. All of my scrapbooks & genealogy and my craft room got the worst of it. The TV room, luckily, only needs the carpet replaced. But it’s quite a lot of work. I’m just so glad that it was nothing worse.


Let’s be friends – award

What is a gal to say when she receives an award like this… letsbefriends

These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this written text into the body of their award.

My dear sweet Java Queen sent this over my direction and I was pleased as punch to receive it. But I’ll be quite honest…I have no idea what self-aggrandizement even means. But knowing Java…it has to be good.

I was excited to see that I get to pass this on to 8 more bloggers, but I thought that I should find out what that big ol’ word meant…so I googled it and this is what I came up with,

self·-aggrandizement (-ə grandiz mənt)

noun

the act of making oneself more powerful, wealthy, etc., esp. in a ruthless way
Now wait just a minuet…I am always on the edge of ruthlessness…it’s the evil laugh. Tee-hee-hee-ha-ha-ha!
So enough of that, on with my picks…
Zoe - this little gal is the height of not interested in self-aggrandizement.
Kemi – a friend indeed.
Meg – Welcoming you in no matter how strange of comments you leave her.
James – he fits the exceedingly charming!
Libby – Just read her bucket list to know why I include this gal.
Sunnymom – A new friend that I’m excited to be getting to know more about.
Lucky - quite a friend to all that visit her, even if she has been a slacker as of late.
Trisha – another great friend!
So to all my friends, and this is not all of you, their are many more than I have listed here…thanks for having me at your place! I enjoy your friendship via the web!

Flashback Friday – In the name of Love!

It was all a case of puppy love…me and a little dog named Jack. He stole my heart as well as his owners.

When I was in high school my mom got a great job, she was a nanny for a family that had 4 children ranging in age from 2 – 10. But it was the youngest that was my favorite. Whenever I got a chance I would visit mom at work to go and play with the youngest, Hayden. He was the cutest and honestly the most polite little kid you ever did see. For Christmas one year, the family got Jack, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. And my parents still at that time would not allow me to have a dog.

They were like my little buddies, anytime that I went to visit I would  get attacked by both Hayden and Jack.  Sometimes if I could go back and visit anything in my past, this would be one of the moments I would love to enjoy again…but, little boys grow up and find other things besides their dogs and play time friends.

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Hero!

I know…you didn’t even know I had an alter ego. But hey, every hero has to have one.

 

superOh wait that is my dog. That is not what you wanted to see.

 

 

Oh here it is…wait for it!

Yep…that’s me in all my finery! And just so you know, my stomach really looks like that!

Ha ha ha *snort*

 

 

hero

I have seen this at a few other places around the web (~M and Mum). But if you want to see yourself in hero form…head out to this site. http://www.cpbintegrated.com/theherofactory/


Award time for my blogroll

I’ve been thinking for a while now about how I could thank all of you that just go out of your way to have a great post every time I stop by to read. Not this wishy-wash crap that I throw out because I think I’m to busy to take a minuet to spell check or proof read my grammar…I mean really. I’ve been throwing up you-tube links like you couldn’t find them yourself if you had any desire to see anything like that anyway.

 

But to my point… if you find yourself on my blogroll there on the sidebar, this is for you!

Today I would like to bestow upon these fine blogs an award that I spent about as much time on as this post. OK…so it was a bit longer than that, but not much. prize-dog1

So here it is. In all it’s glory.

And the truth of the matter is I really do think that you have a great blog. Even if I don’t comment every time I zip in and read your hard work.

So snag that little dog and post him all over your place so that other folks will know just how hard you work (in case they are to dumb to notice.) And if you feel inclined to pass max (that’s his name…I thought it fit, but you can call him what ever you want) along to your favorite finds out there on the web, feel free. After all what else are we all here for!

Oh and I would like to give credit to who ever I stole max from…you can find the coloring page  here …ya I colored him myself.


It’s just been one of them weeks…

First off I want to thank everyone for checking in on me over the last few week. I’m back to feeling like me again, the blues have started to wash away.

 

Second…a big old happy blogoversary to Java! It’s her 1 year mark…is that really all? Cause I feel like it’s been so much longer.

She is a dear, BTW, she sent over the cutest little awards

and in the spirit of her charity, I would love to pass them along to all that are on my blogroll!

And finally…a little bear to enjoy!


Love…

zwani.com myspace graphic comments


Just a drop in the ol’ bucket…

 

I tried all night to come up with a cutesy little introduction to this fun little meme that Teeni at the Vaguetarian Tea Room passed on over to me, but I was just having a brain fart and couldn’t think up anything clever, so I’ll just jump right in here. This is a bucket list of 8 things that I would like to do (given that I ever have the time or money with the way I’m going now days) before I kick the bucket! Let’s hope that it’s a while off just yet, OK. I did a list a while back, with 30 things I wanted to do before I turn 30, and that just seems to be getting nearer, with not so much of the list done so possibly 8 things before I die will be easier. And heck…I may as well go wild right?
I want a tattoo.

Be on a game show.

Visit Africa and see the wild animals

Visit all 50 states…and meet my blog friends along the way!

Find the burial site of an ancestor that never came to America.

Tell a family member exactly what I really think of them…we won’t list any names here.

Visit all the Oceans.

Streak at a public event ( but I want to look good doing it)

 

Oh and don’t forget, I’m a tagger, so who will be it? If you haven’t already done it, how about

Java Queen, 2 Lazy Dogs, I married a county boy, and my bff Joebecca, and well anyone else that wants to take this one for a test drive. Oh ya, and while your out and about, drop on over and see what Ms. Teeni had to say when she passed this one to me.

Gather round one and all for a little tale…

 

Once upon a time in the land of Oz, there was a wonderfully talented and just a bit silly gal that invited her friends to join in a little story game. Many people rushed in an signed up to join in the fun, and this lovely lady even allowed threw her graciousness a few late participants. The fun has already been passed around by most, and now you will see the fun is to be had by me. So it’s my pleasure to invite you to enjoy this part of the splendid writing of

 

 

 

 Bettina
Hilary
Sarah Flanigan
Cris
 

Red

(I hope I got everyone)You’ll find the story up until my part here…
 

The sun was orange as it set against the ocean.
As Natalie walked along the beach, she felt the sting of tears as they sprung to her eyes. How could he do this to her? What would she do now?
She had invested 12 years of her life into their marriage, thinking they were happy, only to have him say he was leaving. Her question of why had been left unanswered. There was no explanation or reasons. He had merely looked at her sadly and walked out the door without so much as a backward glance………….
The sand felt cool against her hot face as her legs buckled and she surrendered her weary body to the comfort of the course sand. She curled up into a fetal position, her mind willing her body to simply evaporate. The darkness enveloping her was barely recognizable against the darkness that enveloped her heart. A darkness that had been slowly creeping in over the past decade. Somewhere in the distance, a baby cried…. a cry that tortured her heart with memories of a dim and distant past……

Alone in the sand Natalie couldn’t stop thinking what if. What if she had been able to have a child? If she could have given him that, would she be in this situation now? At one time they had been so happy. She had foolishly thought that they could make it work by just loving each other. Natalie had told him from the start that she might not be able to have children. Back then he just looked in her eyes and said the only thing that mattered is that they had each other. Why had she believed him? Now, after twelve years of marriage she was all alone. They had tried for so many years to have a baby, but they never could. She had been through seven miscarriages and had given up hope. Now her husband had left her. She felt empty inside. If only he had known . . .

It was all a lie. No that wasn’t quite right. There was nothing false about the love at least not for Natalie. Yet the long nights laying against Brad after the loving exchange of heated passion, whispering softly of the hopes and dreams of the sweet pitter-patter of small feet treading through the carpeted halls of a loving home. The faked miscarriages were not something that Natalie was proud of but it had been her last resort at maintaining a thin veneer over the stained lies that haunted their relationship. For though in her heart, soul, and mind, Natalie was one hundred percent woman, Natalie was born Ned. Yet, how could she have told Brad the truth. For Ned and Brad had been best friends in grade school. Playing catch at the ball park, racing bicycles down the quiet suburban streets, camping in the backyard until that fateful day, when everything changed….

Natalie stared at her perfect breasts in the mirror. That surgeon was worth his weight in gold. She was every man’s dream – beautiful, successful, able to strip an engine faster than any man, but she was missing that one thing – a uterus. Natalie thought she had given Brad everything he wanted. She knew what men wanted in bed; she knew that men liked hot sex, cold beer and sport on the tube. Who was better to know what a man wanted than someone who had spent half of their life as a man, and her husband’s best friend. Life was wonderful until that barbecue with the new neighbors. Curse that little baby with her gummy grin and corn flower blue eyes. Natalie knew their lives would hit a road block when Brad said “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had one of our own?” Natalie could do everything for a man, be everything for a man, apart from one thing… a mother….

Natalie knew there was one last trump card to play, although it was going to be a doozy -she would go back to her surgeon and discuss Changing Wombs. She decided that, after all these years trying to be the perfect woman for Brad, she’d like to experience that female condition with the roller coaster hormones, strange food cravings, sleep deprivation, painful boobs, constant toilet stops and be able to scare the bejebus out of other mums at Playgroup with her own horror birth story. Her surgeon had offered the optional plumbing in his original surgical assessment but Natalie had dismissed it, not considering for a minute that the sport-lovin’ Brad she had her eyes on would succumb to natures tug on his goolies. Having kept several bucket loads of Brad’s love juice on ice at a private storage facility proved the post-op turkey basting would not be a problem and could be a great surprise with which to win Brad back to her side. Natalie made her appointment, booked her ticket and was soon winging her way to motherhood.

Natalie slept for all of that long plane trip, exhausted from the emotions that had ravaged her mind, body and soul. She dreamed of what was to come, the look of surprise on Brad’s face when he saw her swollen with his child, of her triumphant return to his heart and his bed. During the taxi ride from the airport she let her mind wander to their future, longing for the look of wonder and awe as Brad looked upon her with their newborn child for the first time an event that would link them for eternity. She could never had prepared herself though for what was to happen as she entered her surgeon’s office. The sight of Brad sitting in the waiting room looking so pitifully embarrassed to be there, hunched over in his chair holding a magazine high in front of his face set her emotions whirling. His clumsy attempts to disguise himself with that stupid floppy hat and large dark sunglasses, may have fooled some, but not her, not when she had known and loved every contour of his face and tall muscular frame so well for so long. Natalie’s heart lurched as she quickly darted back into the foyer a million questions racing through her mind – What on earth was he doing in sitting in the waiting room of the most highly respected transgender specialist in the country and how could she find out without him knowing that she had seen him there?

She was hovering in the foyer in a lather of indecision when the receptionist’s voice broke into her ruminations, ‘Mr Fothergill, the doctor will see you now.’ Before she knew what she was doing, in three strides and a dive she had caught Brad by the ankles as he approached the consulting room door and brought him down in a tackle that would have brought a smile to the face of their Under 10s rugby coach.
‘Brad! NO!’ she cried, desperate tears spilling onto her cheeks, ‘We’re running out of penises!’
‘ . . . eenises . . . eenises . . .’ echoed the enthralled silence in the room. She surveyed her slack-jawed waiting-room audience, surreptitiously adjusting her skirt with her free hand.
‘What?’ she blustered in confusion. ‘What would you do if your husband’s balls were at stake?’ But a fidgetting in the stalls suggested she was already losing them. A magazine page shuffled. At the reception desk a computer mouse clicked.
‘Balls at stake? Meh,’ seemed to be the view in the waiting room of the most highly respected transgender specialist in the country.

A small girl, dressed in a pink pinafore stepped forward,- a naughty smile tugging at the sides of her mouth. “Tick-tock, you lost your cock, but all’s not lost, cuz I’ve been tossed, from the sperm of Brad, so don’t be sad.” She smiled broadly and did a little curtsey. “Hello Mummy and Daddy. It’s me, your long-lost, Maddie.” Before Brad or Natalie could utter a word, the Doctor stepped from his office and said, “So, how do you like her, I’d say she’s the spitting….

image of…..”, the Doctor stopped in his tracks in shock.
“B-B-Brad, Natalie, please step into my office, now.” stuttered the Doctor, “Nurse, please take Maddie into the examination room at the back and give her some paper and crayons, and please stay with her in that room until I come and get you.”
With that, the couple moved silently into the office behind the Doctor and sat down in stunned silence. Natalie regained her composure first, but her mind raced with questions. If this was Brad’s child, who was her mother? Why wait until now to reveal her to him? And if this was Brad’s child…..what did that mean for the future, their future?

Natalie stood stoically and looked expectantly at the doctor, unable to meet Brad’s gaze. “I’m sure you have questions,” the doctor began, “and you’d have a right to ask them. I only ask that you don’t report me to the authorities…”
“Authorities!” Brad roared. “Who is that child? I demand you tell me now!” Natalie had never seen Brad so angry and it frankly aroused her.
“She’s yours,” said the doctor and he looked nervously at Natalie, “and yours too, Nat.” The couple could only gape. “Seems a spare frozen egg and some left over sperm made it’s way into…” … the night-shift cleaning lady. Between her curiosity and desire to experience Motherhood, she dipped into the reserve spunk collection and turkey-basted herself right up.”

Natalie and Brad both shook their head in disgust and disbelief.

The doctor continued, “When she started to develop stretch marks during the second trimester, she admitted to what she had done and we decided together to keep it a secret. Between you, me and the fencepost, I was boinking the ol’ lady and didn’t think nothin’ of the swell of her belly.”

Brad was outraged at the surprising news. Natalie wept obnoxiously loud as she looked toward the door, wanting to see the child that was supposedly hers. Through sobs and snot, she managed to whisper, “But . . the child. Where are her arms?” . . .

 

And then came little ol’ me!

 

 

 

“Umm…don’t worry about that, it’s just a little problem that we encountered with the mishap abortion that we tried a little to late on my cleaning lady” , the Doctor winced, “To be honest, she’s learned to deal with it quite well. If you’ll follow me over here we can actually observe her threw this one way glass.”
As he opened the shade they could watch little Maddie as she colored with the nurse, holding the crayon between her toes like a little monkey. Naturally the child had no idea that anything was wrong with what she was doing. Sitting at the window, they watched as she colored a family standing outside of a little home, complete with the image of herself with no arms and a cat curling around what looked like the mothers feet.

“She uses her toes,” Natalie smiled and looked at Brad with a little smile showing threw the tear stained face, “just like you do, when your to lazy to bend over and pick things up.”

“She definitely does have your eyes,” Brad added while reaching for Natalie’s hand, “she’s beautiful”.

“Now,” the Doctor broke into there thoughts, “you’ll have to sign some papers, as her…um, legal parents, to absolve me of any wrong doing, before she leaves for the orphanage.”

And from here I’m passing the fun and games on over to

 

 

 

Gemisht, so she can add a little twist to the tale before the lucky winner goes for the final chapter!


How well do you know the CowGal Quiz?

The old man and I were discussing again the time that I spend on the internet…He still insists that people that you don’t see face to face can’t get to know you. I just laughed, I have had the pleasure of getting to know a little bit about lots of nice folks out here just on WordPress, some of you get more insight in to my life than people that I see on a regular basis. But just so I don’t fool myself into thinking that no one was ever listening (or reading) to what I have to say around here I made this goofy little test. Give it a whirl…I’m interested to see the results. I sent it out to my friends that I see all the time that don’t read here as well. I want to know if I give off a false impression of myself here or at work or play. I think I do to a certain extent everywhere. You wouldn’t act the same around your Grandmother at the Opera as you would when your at the Karaoke Bar with your best friends, right? Let’s put it to the test.

Take My Quiz on
QuizYourFriends.com


     Can you Ace my quiz?
  Yes!
  No
  Let’s Find Out!

 


The 5 things Photo meme

I’ve been quite lazy around here as of late but luckyfor me (tee-hee) I got tagged for this photo meme. From what I understand I’m supposedly going to do 5 things about 4 different subjects about little ol me and then tag 5 folks to join in on the fun. So let’s get started.

Up first was 5 things in my purse…but I hate to play by the rules so I mixed it up a bit. I really don’t usually have 5 things in my purse that don’t have my banking information on them and since I have such a fancy with purses (at last count I have like 25 of them) I thought I would just show off 5 of my favorites.

This one is made from seatbelts

 

Cute puppy

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love anything disney

And of coures Las Vegas

And my Coca-cola habbit as well

 

 

Then there is the 5 things in my room…

Miss Mary…are you on my bed again? Oh well…

All my Scrubs for work…I like pink. Can you tell?

My favorite wreath that I got for my wedding

My little cowboy (notice that the cactus is dead…I just thought that was way funnier that when it was alive, OK not really but I have to pretend that I killed it on purpose just to make me feel better. I don‘t have a green thumb)

And my Needlepoint that my Granny made for me before she passed away.

 

 

And on to the 5 things that I’m into at the moment…I wanted to list blogging but I’ve been so bad of it lately that I thought I would share my other passions…

Coke…it’s a problem. I’m out of room to put anything else.

Reading…running out of shelfs as well.

Painting (this is my favorite ceramic that I have done) I like bunnies also.

Dogs. Miss Mary and her little sister Yote.

Buggies…this is our last trip out to Wendover, what do ya think of the new paint job on her? Red’s Maxine was a little inspiration for our choice. (thanks Red)

 

 

And then there are the 5 things that I have always wanted to do…And someday hope to do.

Have some kiddo’s…these are my nephews, after a long day in Las Vegas.

Go to Germany and do some family history, I know it’s not all castles and such…but a girl can dream

Drive on a speedway…I don’t care where or what I drive I just want to take the checkered flag.

 

Go on an African Safari…and see all the animals. And yes I stole this pic.

 

 

And meet all of you nice folks that read the crap that I write here on a (not very) regular basis. Sorry no pic for that one.

And it looks like I was the last one to play this round so I’m not going to tag anyone else. If you haven’t got a chance, feel free to have a go at it.

 


Easter Paint Job

Hope you all have a safe and happy Easter. That cute chick over at Tiny Whore’s place sent me this and I thought I’d share with ya…enjoy

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Hump day humor: children

This weeks hump day humor is about children, I didn’t have a great story about kids right off the bat but I wanted to share this…about some great icons from my childhood. Enjoy!

It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following: Please join me in remembering a great icon – the veteran Pillsbury spokesman. The Pillsbury doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies,

and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite was piled high with flours. As long-time friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children,

John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty.


Seven Random things about me!

 That cutie pie over at V’s tearoom invited me to do this 7 things about me meme, and from what I’m told this is going to be 7 random things. I’m not sure if that silly gal has actually read my blog because I think that everything I post is random. Just kidding…but anyhow I thought I would give this a little twist and give it a bit more meaning. So here is my meme!

  1. I’m creped out by people that eat strange foods such as sheep eyeballs for money!  If you want to eat strange food…do it because you like it, not because of a bet.
  2. I’m scared of most horror movies. I usually don’t even like to watch the commercials on TV. I’m a super big fraidy cat.
  3. I hate people that get super good deals all the time…free lunch, discount groceries. I also hate people that win raffles and lotto’s like their name is the only one in the drawing. If I purchase every ticket but 1 for a raffle…that 1 other person is going to win!
  4. I love summer days that I can lounge in the pool, and have nowhere to be.
  5. I want a tattoo…but I just can’t decide what I want and where to put it.
  6. I have broken any bones in my body! Now just because I said that I’ll junks myself for the drive home.
  7. I need to pay off all of my debt. Ya, that’s going to happen over night.

Now I’m going to tag some friends to join in on the fun…here are the rules, for those that want to join in.

*     Link to me…cause I like that!

*     Post theses stellar rules on your meme post

*     Share seven random things about you…or as many as you like.

*     Tag seven other fun loving blog friends that need something to write about!

*     And let them know…so they can do it, cause it’s not like we all wait around for meme’s to just fall in our laps!

And the seven random people that I’ll be tagging…if you want to do this feel free. If not I’ll try and not cry to loud.

Sksoze

Red

Granola Girl

Kemi

Reggie

Ma 2 Jenna

Yvonne


I hate to be sick…

Bronsonfive is an inspiration, and while I was home last week fighting the plague away, I decided to draw what I was feeling just to help you all understand how gross that being sick can be. So here it is in all it’s glory! The sickness that is gross.

sick.jpg


The best things in life are furry friends.

Rusty over at chasing squirrels had a great idea to zip over to blogthings and check out how his people scored at this fine quiz. I thought I better check it out myself and make sure that I’m not crossing over to the cat (read as: dark) side. I just didn’t know how to tell little Mary and Yote if I had so it’s a good thing that I got this score.  I better watch myself though… they keep a close eye on me!

beary.jpg 


You Are: 90% Dog, 10% Cat


You’re a dog at heart – and it’s not a bad thing at all!You love unconditionally, and you’re extremely loyal.

And while you may act silly at times, you’re really quite smart – and a good learner!


What a great way to get the word out about a worthwhile post!

 images.jpg

The rising blogger has a great place here in the blogging world that awards bloggers for posts rather than just for the whole darn blog. Up until today I was completely oblivious to this rather interesting fact. That is until a great post was nominated and won an award for the post of the day. My dear little fishy friend over at Drowning Pisces writes like a rising star. I love her work, and she has yet to discover her talent! So this is just congratulation for her achievement and an informal invite to check her out. What are you still doing here! GO, Go, go…check this gal out!

And as a side note of interest if you are still here! Check out this post over at Night Owl Mom’s place! It’s a real hoot, and I’m still chuckling over it!


The cowgal rides again

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The evening sun was drifting away as the cowgirl was making the final push back to the homestead. She had sat her pony threw the heat of summer and was grateful the last stretch to her final destination was within sight. Her long golden hair, braided back for the final task at hand, swished as she set her pony to a slow trot to push the heard to the corals.

There was a reason she had worked so hard. The young mavericks, unclaimed and free for the taking to anyone who could take ‘em. She had her eye set on a fine young angus bull. She had seen him threw the summer months and knew he had come from the finest stock the rancher had. Young and strong, yet a little to confident of his freedom.

The cowgirl set out, determined to see her efforts flower into her dreams. Her most trusted companion, Dog, at her heels. Together they pushed the heard to the coral, where she could cut the mavericks out from the remainder of the ranchers stock. A little effort and she had them cut and cornered. Three young bulls. She had had trouble with the smallest of the bunch and knew to watch him closely, but she was determined not to let him distract her from the ultimate goal.  All she had ever wanted was a heard of her own, and this bull would prove to be the best pick from the heard. She sent the dog in first to weed out the troublemaker. Dog was sly and dodged all the kicks and horn the small bull threw her way, she two had tangled with his temper before. The cowgirl turned a blind eye to Dog when she got carried away with an extra nip at the small bulls heels, he had deserved it for the trouble he had caused them in the past. Possibly this would be a reminder to him, when they meet again, not to press his luck around them. The small bull then cut away and returned back to the heard, giving up that the cowgirl had not wanted to dance the dangerous steps with him.

She sat tight to the warmed leather of the saddle bending and moving with the sway of the pony, like they were one. The cowgirl had to pull all her best moves, cutting and distracting the other thick skinned bull to fall out from the corner where he clung to his companion. A little sweat and hard work and the patients paid off. The lone bull, the angus she had desired, succumbed to the persistent of the cowgirl and her dog. Eventually giving in to the seductive dance and letting her rope him to the fires and the eventual branding iron. He was hers.


I have completely fallen in love with the world of blogging.

 When I stared my blog here at WordPress I just wanted a place to express my feelings and try writing for the world to see. scared.jpgscared.jpgI was scared and nervous

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and didn’t want to give out any personal information on the Internet (cause who knew what type of freaky people are out there). I didn’t tell a sole that I was writing and tried to hide it from my friends and family for the first few posts…just to make sure. Then I let my old man and my mom in on the secret. The old man was just glad I didn’t have my nose in a notebook all day jotting down crazy ideas and dreams that I had hitherto packed around for the last year. Mom on the other hand was totally indifferent. She asked me from time to time what I was doing on the web all day long (because I had drifted from my normal baseball stats to the blog genre).

When I felt a little more comfortable with my writing I suggested, at a meeting, for me to do a little wordpress page for the local car show that my parents (along with some friend and family) put on for the city celebration. The idea was a way for me to show off a little and not show off my own page to everyone (just to get some feelers out so to say). While I thought it was a cute little page and worked so hard on it, not a single person on the committee even bothered to check it out. I was amazed the day of the show to hear of a few people that found information about the show from the page. My little heart swelled up with pride after I posted a list of the winners.

woohoo.jpgwoohoo.jpgwoohoo.jpgMy stats jumped clear to 200 views, woohoo.jpgwoohoo.jpgwoohoo.jpgwoohoo.jpgI even had my best day ever with 16. I would have never thought. Then one day I stumbled upon a comment (on a favorite blog at that time) that would change my life forever.

Abarclay will be a name I never forget for the rest of my days…this is the exact comment I read…

“I put a link to your blog from my blog. I hope that’s alright with you. I think your writing kicks ass. AB (abarclay12.wordpress.com)”

Wow I thought what a great way to compliment the writer of that blog…how do you add a link? I sauntered over to her place…holy cow! I laughed for a week before I could comment.

I was willing to bet that this gal had some great links and thus threw the power of wordpress (and a few comments of your own) I found a whole new world.

Now to get down to the nuts and bolts of this here post, I have to tell you a little more about myself. Bearwith me here…I promise it will be worth it. I have always hated winter and Christmas. I’m not going to bore you with all the details but this season has been wonderfully different. My desk looks out over the bleak and colorless countryside, this year though I just ignored the lifeless frozen world that depresses me and stared at my computer screen. Up, up, up you have lifted my spirits and my dreary days of winter are flying by at an incredible rate. The old man even commented on the change. While he still has no idea what I blog about he is familiar with a few names I throw out in conversations. When I got some Christmas cards this year he asked “who is this from?” And like a giddy school girl going to her first dance, I would yank the card form his hand and reply “MY blog friend”. That’s right…I got a card that was not from a family member, prevoius co-workers, or the dentist or milkman. In fact I got a few from blog friends. (P.S. they ment a lot, can you tell?) 

So just to say thanks I want to throw out a little thank you award for you to display on your blog…

bearheart.jpg

This is for all you gals that just make me laugh and remember that life is just life…it’s not going to change just because you think it’s not fair or if you throw a temper tantrum. It’s just life. Plain and simple. Enjoy it while you’re here, cause if you don’t…well you will be that old grumpy lady that lives down the block that scares the neighborhood kids and…well you get the just of it.

So this is to everyone that is on my Blogroll. If you have earned a place their then you know that you have warmed my heart. Thanks.


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