If you pray for rain, be prepared to deal with some mud.

Dear Razor….

 

Dear razor,

I hate you! You are a time consuming and painful little nuisance in my life. What is it that I have done to you that you treat me in such a way? The nicks and razor burn, the dull blades and expensive refills and all the creams and lotions and exfoliating accessories.

I don’t understand how it can all add up so fast. If only I had the money to sit in a salon and pay some nice young lady to personally pluck, laser or wax away all my body hair…you would be so gone! And tell me, why is it that you don’t come with some kind of little robot that could have a steady hand and wouldn’t nick me, or definitely wouldn’t let me leave on a hot date or a trip to the OB-GYN office with that one hair that I missed that seems to be growing at an alarming rate once I notice it?

Be grateful that I am broke and that I don‘t want to look (completely) like a hairy hippy. Even when I do spend the time with you, one body part to the next, by the time I get it all done I need to start over again. Sometimes I think I could walk to Brazil faster than I can try and shave that specific area with no help.

Be grateful of your place in my life, because someday…oh, let me tell you, your history!

Sincerely yours

Cowgal

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6 responses

  1. Two words, Sister.

    Coochie Cream.

    All you need to know and it will solve ALL of your problems.

    January 12, 2011 at 2:04 pm

  2. Razors– such a necessary evil…though a little less necessary in the winter when my skirts, shorts, and strappy sandals are hibernating :-)

    February 9, 2011 at 11:35 am

  3. Jim

    Sure I read this stuff. Shaving sucks. But as Jeff Foxworthy said if you want to make your deck look bigger you need to cut the bush back.

    February 15, 2011 at 1:05 am

  4. I just saw an ad for a product called No No, a hair removing device, on HSN. Seemed convincing, but that’s TV.

    This is one area we men complain about–shaving. Yet we forget that women have to shave too–and a much larger surface! So we really have no cause to complain!

    In this area, it is the Mongoloid Race that has the advantage–especially the women. My paternal grandmother never had to shave–her maternal grandmother was at least 1/4, if not 1/2 Cherokee!

    April 10, 2011 at 7:06 am

  5. Also, I’ve taken a closer look at the woman in the “Motivational Poster” (of course): Never mind more clothing, give that woman more food!

    April 10, 2011 at 7:11 am

  6. Just because society says, doesn’t make it so. I say let it grow; let it all grow. If anything, give it a little trim. Other than that, it’s way more trouble than it’s worth. Don’t waste your time, money, blood or piece of mind on such baseless pursuits. No more scratchy stubble/whiskers, no more ingrown hairs, no more razor cuts. It’s not a hippy thing, it’s a human thing.

    Who came up with this idea of women shaving all their hair off anyway? I’m guessing a perv that was titillated by hairless, prepubescent girls. Is that the kind of standard you want to live up to? Me personally, I don’t think that is something I want to perpetuate, but hey, that’s just me, and millions of other men and women all over the world.

    Just something to think about. ;)

    June 12, 2011 at 7:35 am

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